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My First
Taiji Tournament
 Children running around, people
milling around in many different costumes greeting each
other, Shifus gathering and conferring. Suddenly, out of
the casual chaos, an apparent order emerges. Dramatic
drum beats, a very tender version of the Star Spangled
Banner and the beautiful fiery Lion Dance. Yet, what
most moves me is the cardboard barrels overflowing with
toys for children who otherwise would have no Christmas
at all and Shifu Mario’s story which inspired the
inception of this tournament.
I am excited about the day and
slightly nervous about doing my routine in front of all
these schools of practitioners. The first little boy
courageously walks up in his white sash and smartly
salutes. I wryly smile and think to myself, “If this
little guy can do this, so can I.”
Photo by Jared Raynor
I have hours before I do my taiji.
I warm up, train, sit down, watch. I do this over and
over. Almost imperceptibly, my attention shifts from my
little self and with its endless fears and demands, to
the beauty unfolding before me. I am drawn in to each
student’s routine. Some students do their routines
tentatively, quietly, slowly, while others do the same
routines with drama and passion. I am struck by the
vulnerability of each student as they impassively await
the judgment, their scores.
 I contemplate the qualities I want
to manifest more fully this year. Simplicity, clarity,
focus, fire. I embrace each of these every time I do
the form. For me, taiji is a distillation of
awareness. It is as simple as knowing where my feet are
and feeling the clarity that my leg muscles will support
me as I slowly extend a leg in a kick. Sometimes, that
is neither simple nor clear. There are days when I
cannot find the balance in my legs and I do the quickest
kick possible in order not to lose my balance.
Photo by Jared Raynor
Suddenly, I drop into Being and practice it over and
over. Extending my leg slowly without losing my balance
becomes the most important thing in my world.
Everything else is gone.
I realize as I watch these students
that the grace, fluidity and self-expression I am
witnessing are rooted in patience, discipline and great
attention to detail. I am inspired by the flawless and
the flawed. A student shakes his two-sided knife with
such passion that a wrist mala flies off his wrist and
hits the wooden gym floor so impressively, it only adds
fire and flair to an already inspired performance.
I no longer feel nervous. I find
my rhythm, drop into my routine, see the sun shining on
the gym floor and enjoy my moment. I no longer worry
about being judged or tripping or…..
Letting go of fear, feeling the simplicity and
richness of movements done for thousands of years, my
contribution to this journey…I will be back next year
Gwendolyn Burk
Photo by Jared Raynor
Many thanks to our
photographer Jared Raynor
Jared Raynor Photography
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